I struggle with a restless soul. There are times when I experience this feeling much more so such as during the summer months. The bright sunny days and warm weather bring it on. There is so much frenetic energy all around me. It is so difficult for me to be still. I want to experience and discover as much as I possibly can because I know how lucky I am to be able to enjoy my life in this way. I am overwhelmed by a sense of urgency to make the most of this time.
A recent experience helped shape this new perspective on how I choose to approach my life. I faced a life-threatening illness a few years ago and was not able to do much during that time. Chemotherapy treatments left me completely exhausted. I spent several months in bed staring at the walls thinking about what I would do if I survived. It was my thinking summer.
Getting through that experience of illness forced me to stop and really consider thoughtfully what I was creating with my life. There is so much I want to create and share with the people I love. This is a curse as much as a blessing. I must also learn to be content with what is now in this moment. There is a fine balance between wanting to make the most of your life and allowing yourself to be happy and satisfied with the simple pleasures of the day-to-day. I am learning to practice contentment and gratitude for what is now in this moment.
Today, I found a quiet space in the woods beside a granite rock wall. The lighting is gentle and comforting. It feels more like a sanctuary for my restless soul. I am drawn by its soothing energy and in this moment I am at peace with myself. Creating the work in this space feels profound and meaningful to me because of its simplicity.